A question of worth

Let me preface this with saying how very thankful I am that I am able to be home with my children. I am all too happy to have it be my job to take care of not just the kids but also my husband. I gladly lay out his clothes, cook his meals, rub his feet and listen to him talk about his day at work. I have no problem doing all of those things, I actually like to, but.....

It has been a little over 3 months since I worked outside the house and I can feel my sense of self worth diminishing slowly. My tired husband does not want to hear about my own internal issues after his day at work and I can understand that. I remember being the one coming home tired. Some days being a mom is a thankless job and I crave a little acknowledgement that I am doing a good job. My sweet little 3 year old told me when I tucked her in to bed one night, "I hate you mommy". I try not to take that personally and remember that she also tells me I am her best friend ever. Some days I just need to keep reminding myself that while there may be no concrete proof of my worth, like a paycheck, the fact that I am here is still valued. Even if it is not often said out loud.

Baby names: an obsession

I have a little hobby (or to be a bit more accurate -obsession) with names. I am not currently pregnant, but often still lay in bed at night pondering possible names for my children.

My list is ever changing and the current favorite changes always.

Currently I have:

Celeste
Lydia
Raphaella/Rafaella I debate the spelling because I would use the nn Fae
Eliza
Wrenna
Stella
Fiona
Coralie
Hazel
Beatrix
India
Clara
Elsa
Liv
Susanna
Phoebe
Miriam
and
Eve

Note that there are only girls names?

The thing is we have the first two boys names already picked. The only fun thing to entertain would be boy #2's middle name. Got any suggestions of what sounds good with Ezekiel?

Your older than you've ever been and now you're even older

Happy almost birthday to me.

While making my birthday list I decided that I am indeed a very boring person.

This year when I sat down to think of things I want I came up with the following:

Have the carpet professionally cleaned.

A deep pasta pot with a lid.

A electronic baby nasal aspirator.

A night out with my husband.

Yup, that is right I want an electric snot sucker for my birthday. Technically of course it is to use on someone else but the thought of not having to sit on the children while I attempt to use the old bulb syringe type sounds nice. Something that makes my life easier seems like a perfect present to me. Forget the diamonds, give me some useful baby gear and I am over the moon.

The list as a whole made me laugh at myself.

I am glad that it takes such small things to make me happy and my husband is lucky that I ask for such cheap stuff.

So maybe it does not make me boring but rather content with what I already have.